A New Russian (NR) meets a guy he went to school with. The guy is a miserably underpaid scientist in some academic institution.
- I wonder how you could end up leading such lousy a life, - the NR remarks, - You were so brilliant at school. You understood all those things that used to beat my understanding...
- And I wonder how you made such a success, - the schoolmate confides, - in the old days you didn't even know how to compute a percentage of an integer...
- Well, my story is simple, - the NR says, - I am buying a ton of iron ore for US$1, and selling it for US$2. This remaining one percent is my profit...

A New Russian (NR) boards a trolleybus and comes up to the driver.
- Three thousand bucks, cash on the nail, if you take me straight to Zelenograd now.
- But I can't, - the driver protests, - there are no trolley wires up to Zelenograd, the trolleybus line ends right after the bridge!
- What's the big deal, - the NR says, - you mount the bridge at 100 km/h, and you descend at 160 km/h, thanks to gravity acceleration, and you'll be able to make it to Zelenograd by inertia, without electricity. Worth $3000, anyway.
The driver agrees. He announces, that the trolleybus is not going any further, drops all his passengers off, and drives the NR to Zelenograd, exactly as he was instructed. At the end of the road he's paid his $3000, and the NR is about to descend, when the driver suddenly looks around, and notices that Zelenograd landscape looks quite strange. Land is scorched, trees are rooted, houses lay in ruins...
- Is there some kind of war going on in Zelenograd?! - the driver wonders.
- Naah, - the NR replies, - it's just that I took a subway to get here yesterday...

An New Russian (NR) meets an old Russian [a nickname for old-style managers and CEOs of Soviet industry]. The old Russian asks:
- How are you these days, Vasya?
- Well, life sux, - the NR replies, - I'm so tired of the Bahamas, and of those French restaurants, and those thousand-dollar-a-night whores... Really wears me up... Wha'bout you, old buddy?
- Imagine, I haven't been eating anything for three days already, - the old Russian says in a weak voice.
- Well, man, - says the NR, - I've had this sort of problem. You have to force yourself!

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Devil approaches a New Russian (NR), offering to buy his soul.
- How much are you ready to pay? - the NR asks.
- Just any price you ask, - the Devil replies.
- Hmmmm... What about fifteen 20 ft containers of mahogany?
- No problems, - says the Devil readily.
- Twenty containers?
- No problems with it either.
- Twenty five?!
- You got it!
The NR falls in a deeply pensive mood for a number of minutes.
- Something wrong? - asks the Devil after a very long silence.
- I just can't figure out, where's the cheat in the deal, - the puzzled NR confides.

Two New Russians(NR) come into a car sales shop. They ask for a latest model Mercedes. They are shown the car, decide to buy it, and one of them reaches for the wallet and produces all the money required.
- Hey, man, let's pay fifty-fifty, - another NR protests.
- C'mon, buddy, you paid for the cab!..