A New Russian (NR) comes into a jewellery store and asks for the heaviest golden cross in stock. Once the item is brought in, the NR examines it closely.
- Well, I guess I'd take it, - he says finally, - Only cut down the acrobat, please.

A New Russian returns from Eilat, by the Read Sea, and relates his trip to friends and partners.
- I was the star of the resort, - he recollects, - No girl could help staring at me in admiration. Well, I can understand that, I really looked great, in my weekend pink suite, and my fur hat...

A New Russian bawls at his charwoman:
"Where is the dust from my table?!!! I wrote important phone numbers there!"

!!! MOST Beautiful Russian girls !!!

- You know, I surgically changed my nationality.
- Can it really be true? You became a Jew?
- No. I became a "New Russian". I asked the surgeon to crook my fingers.

A New Russian walking through the streets of Moscow meets another New Russian. The first one tells the second, "Hey, nice watch. How much did it cost?"
"Two thousand dollars," proudly answers the second.
"Wow, really? It must not be much good. I just bought mine for three thousand."