A New Russian comes in to buy a car. He tells the salesman he wants a gray Mercedes. The salesman finds for him exactly the car he wants, and the man pas for it right out of his pocket. As he is about to leave, the salesman asks him, "Didn't you buy a car just like this from us last week?"
"Oh, yes, I did," replies the New Russian, "but the ashtray got full."

A man is driving a car in Russia when the car in front of him suddenly stops for a red light. The poor man, not thinking quickly enough, ran right into the car in front. It was a new Mercedes, and the poor man thought, "Oh no, now the New Russian is going to come out and sue me." To his surprise, the New Russian gets out of his car and says very pleasantly, "Now how would you have stopped if I hadn't been there?"

A New Russian calls to his secretary:
- Lena, how much of zeros are in one million?
- Six.
He disconnects and tells his partner:
- You see? Six zeros in one million! Thus, in two millions it is twelve.

!!! MOST Beautiful Russian girls !!!

In tax police:
- Where did you get money to buy MERCEDES?
- I sold my FORD, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get FORD?
- I sold my LADA, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get LADA?
- I sold my SUZUKI, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get SUZUKI?
- I already have been in prison for that.

A New Russian came back from Paris. His wife asks:
- How did you like your trip?
- Do you remember, in our friend's Vasya kitchen was a canvas "Gioconda"?
- Yes.
- He sold it. I have seen it in Louvre.