A little boy sees his dad painting the ceiling. His mum says to him:
"Look and remember how to do it. When you grow up you'll help your dad."
The boy: "But hasn't he finished painting by that time?"

On the beach a man appeals to a lady:
"Madam, your child has dug my shirt in the sand!"
The woman doesn't pay any attention at all.
Man: "Madam, your child has dug my shirt in the sand!!!"
Lady: "It's not my child. My child is washing cherries in your cap".

A boy and a girl are making a snowman.
Boy: "Ok, it's nearly ready. I'll go to the kitchen to pick up a carrot for him."
Girl: "Take two. We'll make him a nose too."

Great Practical Jokes and Gags!

A little boy comes to the pharmacy and says:
"Give me a packet of condoms, please."
"First, it's not for children, answers the druggist. Secondly, let your dad come and choose the necessary size."
"First, it's not for children, but against them. And secondly, they are not for dad, but for mum. She is going cruising and she does not know what sizes she will see."

In a big supermarket a little girl is standing and crying. A policeman comes up to her and asks:
"Why are you crying?"
"I am lost :("
"And where are your dad and ma?"
"I don't know! :("
"And what are their names?"
"Honey and pussy cat."