A jew is asked by his partner:
- Abraham, how much is 5 x 5?
- Depends on whether we're selling or buying...

A Jew took his teenager son to visit a famous rabbi who had reputation of a saint. In the rabbi's home the guests were invited to a dinner. During the dinner, the son noticed that the famous rabbi put into his dishes plenty of salt. To the youngster's question, his father explained, "The rabbi is a saint. He avoids having any pleasure which would come from ingratiating his flesh. All his pleasures are spiritual. So he salts his food to kill the pleasant taste."
In a while, the rabbi's wife walked into the dining room. She turned out to be a buxom young woman with sensuous lips and vivacious expression on her face, her young breasts playing under her silk gown. The youngster stared at her. Finally his father said, "Don't ogle the rabbi's wife, it's impertinent." The boy answered, "But father, I am just trying to figure out, how much salt the rabbi needs to have no pleasure."

Translated by Mark Perakh

A Russian orthodox priest, a mullah, and a rabbi discussed how they distributed the money brought by parishioners.
The priest said, "I draw a line across the floor in the church. Then I hurl all money into the air. Whatever falls on my side of the line, is mine, the rest is for God."
The mullah said, "I draw a circle on the mosque's floor, and hurl the money into the air. Whatever falls within the circle, is mine, the rest is for God."
The rabbi said, "I just hurl all the money up in the air. Whatever God wants He can keep. Whatever he lets fall back down, is for me."

Translated by Mark Perakh

!!! MOST Beautiful Russian girls !!!

Two cars, one driven by a Russian priest and the other by a rabbi, collided. They crawled out and saw that both cars were smashed.
"God gave, God took," the priest said.
"Easy comes, easy goes," the rabbi said. "Now let's drink a little, to make things easier."
The priest poured vodka into a glass and said, "You drink first."
"No, no," the rabbi said. "You first."
The priest drank and poured vodka for the rabbi.
"No," the rabbi said, "I'll better wait now for the traffic cop."

Translated by Mark Perakh

How many times is a Jew laughing after an anecdote has been told?
Four times.
First time because everybody is laughing.
The second time because now he got it.
The third time because he didn't get it at once.
The fourth time because Moshe still didn't get it.

Translated by Mark Perakh