- Abraam, may I borrow your matches?
- No! Every time you borrow my matches, there's one missing!

A bus with a young girl, her mom, a Russian and a Jew enters a dark tunnel. Suddenly one can hear a sound of a kiss and a slapping.
The girl is thinking: "Who kissed me?"
Her mom: "Good, daughter! Slap'em if they do it!"
The Russian: "If we go into another one, I'll kiss her again."
The Jew: "If he punches me again, I'll get off next stop."

An old Jew is dying. He is a known pranker and before he dies, he summons all his relatives and friends and says:
- I'm gonna die right away. Please do me the last favor, when I die, stick a rod into my ass and roll my body around it for a good while.
He dies and his last will is honored. They stick a rod into his ass and start rolling his body. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and the voices say:
- Open up, police! We received a call, that someone in this house is vandalizing corpses!

!!! MOST Beautiful Russian girls !!!

A young man:
- Rabbi, I don't know what to do. Should I marry my girlfriend or not?
- It doesn't matter what you do. You'll regret it anyway.

A man in a synagogue:
- Rabbi, what should I do? My son has converted to Christianity.
- I don't know, answers the rabbi. Come back tomorrow, and I'll ask advice from God.
The man comes back the next day.
- I can't help you, says the rabbi. God told me he has the same problem.