A policeman stops a car and suggests an apparently drunken fellow to take a breath test. He blows, the thing shows: positive. He protests, cries he is a teetotaler and that the instrument isn't working properly. He says his wife is also a teetotaler. She blows- again positive. Then he gives it to their little kid on the backseat- also positive! The ashamed policeman lets them go. They take off and the man says to his wife:
- And you kept telling me: don't give the kid any alcohol, don't give the kid any alcohol!!

A traffic cop stopped a car for erratic driving and ordered the driver to undergo an alcohol contents test. The driver obeyed, and the device showed an excessive level of alcohol.
"You device is out of order," the driver said. "My wife doesn't drink at all. Try on her."
The cop agreed, but the device showed alcohol presence in wife's blood as well.
"You see?" the driver said. "It's a bad device."
"No, just your wife is drunk as well," the cop insisted.
"Then try on my kid, he certainly doesn't drink."
The couple produced a tiny sleeping child, woke him, and made him to go through the alcohol test. Again, the device showed high level of alcohol in blood.
"D'you see now?" the driver said. "Wrong device.'
The cop apologized and let the car through.
As they drove away, the husband said with a glee, "Ha! Have you swallowed it? And you kept saying 'Don't give vodka to the kid, don't give him vodka!"

Translated by Mark Perakh