A flight dispatcher watches a plane landing tail-end forward.
- Flight 757, what the hell is going on?! he shouts into the microphone. Let me speak to the captain!
- The c... the c... the captain is drunk.
- Then give me the second pilot.
- H ..he's d... drunk too.
- Well, and who's talking.
- A... autop.. pilot...

A tourist asks the guide:
- When does the Loch-Ness monster show up?
- Usually after the fifth shot of whisky.

Two drunkards are drinking vodka. One of them is reading a newspaper:
- The drink twice cuts down the life... How old are you, hey?
- 30.
- O! And if you haven't drunk you'd be 60!

!!! MOST Beautiful Russian girls !!!

"How did you celebrate Christmas?"
"Like a present!"
"???"
"All night I lay under the Christmas tree."

Two men sat in a bar. They took a drink and began talking. As it happened to be they lived in the same city, studied at the same school and class. A barfly came into the bar and asks a barman:
"What's new?"
"Nothing. But the brothers Smiths are drunk again."